This is a pretty unorthodox post / situation, but I'm hoping someone here might be able to point me in the right direction. (Warning: this post is going to come across as emo and potentially TMI, but context is important for understanding my concerns).
In March of 2011, I started seeing someone online. It was a LD rel, but we were together--on and off--until January of this year. I trusted my partner, but I'm really not an internet person. When we met, I was in grad school and using the internet only as a means of blow off steam when the expectations of my coursework were particularly trying; I -had- been a frequent mush-gamer some fifteen / twenty years prior, but rl had taken over in the interim. I'd joined the military, went to war, got my degree, had a child. Life.
Anyway, moving on. My ex visited me for almost two months in November-December of 2013. During that time, he downloaded LMiH. He was using my laptop. At one point, he took it apart to clean it (he might indeed have only cleaned it, but I wouldn't know either way). When I asked what it was, he said it was just a way for him to chat with his friends when he was gaming (while I was busy or doing something else). He did not say anything about its potential security risks.
Within the first couple of weeks of his being here, he said he wanted to break up; this was awkward for me as he still planned on staying with me for an additional six weeks. I asked him to try to rearrange his flight, so he could fly home. He said he couldn't afford it, but he had arranged to fly to Colorado to visit someone and do a long weekend skiing--so he would be away for a week. (I don't know how much of the trip was paid for by the other person or if he'd been lying). He asked to take the laptop with him, so he could check his email while he was away; I agreed.
When he returned, a week later, the ex said he'd changed his mind. He didn't want to break up. We continued on for the next couple of weeks, but when he returned home I said I did want to break up. The fact that he'd said it suggested he did and I didn't want to be the couple that held out to the breaking point only to end up hating one another.
We broke up for like five or six months (fairly amicably, both acting adults), but then he said he missed me and wanted to get back together with me. He loved me. Et cetera. He asked for me to come visit him, I did.
There is a lot more to this story, but during the three years (at that point) we'd been in a relationship I'd been trolled hard. I couldn't understand what the impetus was or why people were doing it because I consider myself a pretty reasonable, likable person. When I told him about it, he would say, 'People are jerks. Just ignore it. It's just internet culture.'
After we broke up a second time, I came to realize that he had a part to play in the trolling. Some things I'd only ever shared with him were being repeated; so he'd either shared, they'd accessed, or it was him doing the trolling.
I can't say with any certainty what the cause was, but I feel fairly confident (knowing what I've learned since) that it was a red pill tactic to try to modify my behavior and also a means of punishing me. One of his friends turned out to be someone who I'd (in my late teens) lied and stolen from; I don't remember it being an obscene amount of money ($200.00; he'd let me use his phonecard and I ran up a charge I couldn't repay), but I -did- do it and at the time (given his rl finances) it was probably devastating to him. He'd assumed that I was the same person.
Now, I can't really fault his friend for that. I don't know what I'd do if I were in his position. I'd wanted to locate him after the fact, but I'd forgotten his last name and I had no internet access when I could actually afford to pay him -- I was overseas in the mil w/ no computer.
Here is where I get to my point. This whole misuva has gotten out of hand. Since we last broke up (January of this year), it often feels like he (and his friends) are responding to prompts that they shouldn't be and have information they shouldn't. I've dealt with slander, sexual harassment, and attempts at forcing me to play with them (or else they'll interrupt, drop or lag my connect).
I had thought I'd removed LMiH from my computer after he left, but I'd only removed it from one of my user accts. The other user acct was still on my computer and (unbeknownst to me because I'd given the laptop to my daughter to use). I discovered this just last night as I'd used the computer when I was having trouble with my regular laptop. LMiH popped up -- which I only noticed after the update -- active and signed into his account.
I'd contacted support but they only gave me information to remove it from my computer. I don't want to remove it from my computer until I take a closer look at it. I've come to think that he might have only started seeing me in the first place only as a means of backing up a friend who'd somehow recognized / discovered my identity and wanted to retaliate. If it's secure and he didn't, then that's fine -- I'll just uninstall it; if they've been using it to spy on me through the internet, I certainly do not.
I want to know if he (and his friends) have been accessing my computer (or if he hadn't, while away in "Colorado" been helped to set it up so people would have access to my network) or if the security that is currently on his current acct is set to leave a window open to leave my network accessible.
I'm not an internet or computer savvy person, so if there is anyone who could tell me if (given the current settings--which I'll share if necessary) it is possible or how I might go about seeing if it has been accessed, if that is at all possible. I'd really appreciate any recommendations. There's probably options I'm not thinking of.
Anyway, thank you for all and any help you can provide.